As per usual, I sat outside of my office during one of my frequent cigarette breaks. My co-worker somehow got into describing how she used to order tons of stuff off the Home Shopping Network. I interrupted her to ask if she ever got a "toot" from the on-air salesperson. She only answered with a look of dejection.
Back when I was younger and didn't have cable, the only thing there was to watch was the Home Shopping Network. Quite often, the hosts would talk to random viewers who "loved the ice-cream-scooper-that's-also-a-high-powered-laser" (by the way, having a phone conversation with the HSN jockeys is near the bottom of the pit of loneliness). After concluding the little chat, the host would whip out an old bicycle horn and give the viewer a "toot". TOOT TOOT. And if the "glow-in-the-dark-shoehorn" sold out, that's an extra toot. TOOT TOOT. It was an action packed shopping extravaganza.
So my co-worker, apparently, never got tooted - at least not personally. Her house was overflowing with crap, but never once was she invited to offer any sort of anecdote on the "water resistant candy jar" they happen to be selling. No phone call - no toot. Many people lug regret around like an overfilled backpack on a river rafting trip. She wears hers like a scary Halloween mask.
I may bring a bicycle horn into work tomorrow to cheer her up. TOOT TOOT!
No actually that would be really stupid and I'd be mocked until at least Cinco de Mayo 2007.
1 comment:
I remember the Home Shopping Network. My parents used to watch it all the time. It was strangely mesmerizing as dumb as it was. I kinda remember the tooting also. Haha!
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