Weirdo's Ode to a Game Show

Due to economical circumstances beyond anyone's control, I have found myself watching a lot of game shows for the last month. I now know more about "Dumb Dora" that Gene Rayburn and Brett Somers combined. But that's not what this post is about.

Load Times: A Personal Flashback

It's 2008. I no longer want to wait more that three seconds for my entertainment to get with the "entertaining". I want to snap my fingers and have instant gratification for my senses. Perhaps I'm being a tad unrealistic, but when I load up a DVD or video game, I shouldn't have to wade through a cesspool of unskippable copyright warnings, previews or animated developer credits.

Logos and Idents and Bumpers - Oh My!

Television is a medium that spends its entire existence doing nothing more than trying to grab your eyes and ears by its balls. It is the attention-whore in your living room that won't be ignored. With that said, it should come as no surprise that even the short station identifications, program bumpers and production logos have become these memorable orgies of sounds and visuals. Some of them tried so hard, that they're practically unnerving. This is especially true to young children for whom any strange noise can either be a menacing robot attack or the "NBC Night at the Movies". These short animated idents I grew up watching were so outlandish or eerie that they're fascinating. And apparently, I'm not the only one who reminisces about these things judging by how easy it is to find them on video sites .

The Only Way to Truly Heal This World is to Bring Back "Bowling For Dollars"

Everywhere you turn your little pinhead, suffering exists. Crime, drugs, war, poverty, and general malaise is running rampant through our streets. Mr. President could talk about solutions but the only way we can begin the healing process is to bring back an old staple of the 70's: "Bowling for Dollars."

Toot Sweet

As per usual, I sat outside of my office during one of my frequent cigarette breaks. My co-worker somehow got into describing how she used to order tons of stuff off the Home Shopping Network. I interrupted her to ask if she ever got a "toot" from the on-air salesperson. She only answered with a look of dejection.

Chipmunk Punk

When I was a little rotund child waddling my way through the house, one of my favorite records was "Chipmunk Punk". This record highlighted some of 1980's (the year, not the decade) best songs. Nevermind you could have saved yourself the trouble of buying this album by just playing the originals at 78RPM, it was still pretty cool for a 4-year old boy.

I Vant to Bite Your Finger

I vant to scare your children.

Back in the early 80's (or even perhaps late 70's), board game history was rewritten when Hasbro introduced a new family game that combines the thrill of getting bitten with the monotony of calling random numbers.  That game, which you should already know the name of since you selected it from the menu, was 'I Vant To Bite Your Finger'.  Forgive Hasbro for the typographical error but vampires like their speech impediments spelled out for them.