The Future is Ruined!

It looks as if we are not to far-off from perfecting cloaking technology. Scientists from Berkley have created a material that bends light to make it appear as if the subject wearing said material isn't really there. In essence, you are invisible.

Sounds pretty sweet, right? Don't plan your vacation to the woman's locker room just yet. You will probably never get your hands on it. The potential for abuse would be too great. I'm sure there are those of you who would only use it for practical jokes and crazy illusions. But all it would take is one unscrupulous wrongdoer to don the cloak of invisibility and begin a massive crime wave, undetectable by the naked eye. Just, try giving a description of an assailant to you local authorities ("umm... he was gun floating in mid-air") .

I don't want to be a killjoy, but there are plenty of examples of futuristic innovations we were looking forward to but will probably never see the light of day due to their unpredictable behaviors and/or consequences in the hands of humanity. Here are a few:

The Flying Car

As the main mode of transportation of The Jetsons, kids and adults alike have watched George tool around in his gravity-defying vehicle with wishful anticipation. Flash-forward a few decades later: the "Back to the Future" series (mainly the second one) predicted "hover conversations" for the family car no later than 2015. Now here we are in 2008 no nearer to going where we don't need roads. So what gives?

Well gravity gives, that's what. How many times have you driven to work and seen a disabled vehicle on the side of the road? Now imagine, with flying cars, that those broken down vehicles will be falling to earth. Forget the stall-related fatality statistics that are suddenly going to skyrocket, just imagine your daily stroll cut short by a hail-storm of cars.

There are still optimistic engineers who convene every year with others at organized events to discuss and review flying car projects. None of the developed ideas presented have been successfully demonstrated. Think of it as all the sexual experiences you've lied about having to your friends, except catered.

Time Travel
Let's get this out of the way: There is a 99.999% chance that practical time travel is impossible. But that doesn't mean there's not that .001% of researchers who have presented theories on how to accomplish movement backwards through history. None involve a Flux Capacitor.

But even if one could warp freely through every nanosecond of history, it would be a technology that would be better left untampered with. Imagine this nightmarish scenario: John kills Jim but gets caught and sent to jail. Realizing the exact moment his fate was sealed, he escapes from prison and hops in his time machine to stop himself. He succeeds but since he no longer committed murder, he had no reason to travel back in time (which he already did). The universe says "oh dear" and collapses upon itself to avoid dealing with the paradox it would have had to unravel.

Need a simpler example? State lotteries would be rendered moot. Everyone would look up the numbers, travel back to yesterday and win every time. There would be no money left for schools and those colorful displays of scratch-offs would be replaced with an Icee machine. Now look what you've gone and done!

There's a school of thought that predicts the possibility of time travel exists but as nothing more than an observer (i.e. you can't interact). Seems pointless. We have video cameras for that.

Robot Servants

The robot took a figure of speech literally! Haha! That's good comedy!

Well we have Roomba, but it can't make sitcom-styled wisecracks, or do anything else except vacuum for that matter. You probably want the full android with lifelike appendages to do everything from washing dishes to organizing your dirty magazine collection by centerfolds' breast size. Don't hold your breath.

Your robot servant (or "android" if you're going to be nitpicky) will probably run on some sophisticated operating system - like Microsoft Windows. It will probably require constant updates - like Microsoft Windows. Some hacker will eventually find some exploit in the system - like Microsoft Windows. And that's when we have a metal army of indestructible androids hell-bent on destroying humanity. Say what you want about Windows: Millennium Edition, but at least it didn't bring about the end of the world.

Remember "I,Robot" with Will Smith? Yeah, neither do I.