A High Score with No Name

As much as I can appreciate the 40-hour, dialogue-driven action/adventure romps with a clear cut goal that seem to be popular with the video gamers, it'll never compare to the good, old-fashioned score-attack games. That's why I downloaded Groovin' Blocks for the Wii. Sometimes you get tired of saving princesses, damsels, worlds, days and loose change - you just want to get the high score. Yup, old school gaming!

I've already played the Wiiware download for a couple of hours and, overall, I'm not disappointed. That is save for one minor quibble: I can't attach my handle to high scores. How am I supposed to prove my numerical worth in puzzle/rhythm games?

High score tables have been the concrete wall I spray my tag on for as long as I can remember. Some people think I have an unhealthy obsession with my own initials. Maybe they're right (look at the title of my website), but I don't care. When I play Donkey Kong, I want the world to know that "DMR" is "a thousand points better" than "CJW". I want to put these accomplishments on my resume and if I have to drag the machine into an interview to prove it, I will. Maybe then I can land my dream job as "Vice President of Barrel Jumping Operations".

Who needs social drinking when I can poke at a screen?

Last year, I claimed a $300 deduction off my taxes due to losses incurred when I spent all night at a bar trying to snatch the top of the list on one of those Megatouch machines. How could I resist? They let you put your entire name in there. I want all the drunken idiots to know that there's a new king of "Erotic Photo Hunt" and that king is me.

Yeah I know... I'm so vain I probably think this post is about me.