It is officially autumn in the northeast United States. If there were ever a time for guys to walk around the neighborhood shirtless, this definitely isn't it.
Granted, we live near a beach and the weather has not yet dropped to seasonal lows. But we're also not literally on the sand and there are people walking around with long sleeves and jackets. Going shirtless now is the same thing as saying "I'm drinking these 24 cans of Budweiser all by myself and, if I have time, I'll scream at my woman for no reason while I wait for the cops to arrive."
"Hey sir, nice chest full of tats! I would never have seen them if you were wearing a shirt. I can tell from fifty feet away that you have poor conversation skills and would probably fly off the handle over the littlest setback. Yes you may think I am judging you unfairly in a condescending tone, but it's so much easier than becoming your casual acquaintance and then getting a call at 4am to bail you out of jail because of some petty bar brawl."
Learn it, know it, live it.
It's not just the "twentysomethings" who put me off with their self-imposed shirtless policy. I once assisted my neighborhood church with their community theater production. One of the guys who worked backstage, and had to be close to fifty years-old at the time, would often walk around with his flabby chest exposed in full view of women and children. We would half-jokingly tell him to put his shirt back on lest he scarred the young performers for life. To be honest, I was more concerned with my own awkwardness when I would have to talk to him and his crazy nipples were pointing at me as if they had a life of their own. I swear they were trying to bite me!
We finally asked our cantankerous backstage helper once too often to put his shirt back on and he completely flew off the handle. And there you were, thinking my outrageous stereotypes were without precedence.
And before you ask, the answer is no - as in "No, I don't have a problem if women want to walk around topless."
2 comments:
Dave - You're just jealous because you have "man boobs"! -Dave
Well, it is unfortunate that most males who are so unrefined as to not wear a shirt in public aren't as studly as I. I often walk around my place without a shirt, sometimes even go to the convenience store - only for lottery tickets - I don't drink nor smoke - without a shirt, and am prepared to smile, say "no problem", and walk back home if I'm refused service. But I am in the minority in that regard, too.
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