You've Got Spam
*In content, not spelling, grammar or attitude.
I wouldn't really care all that much if my mother wasn't so married to AOL, despite having a broadband connection that works perfectly fine without that little faceless running man cocking everything up with his bloated internet suite. When I go to visit the parents, she'll show me something she found online and I have to constantly scroll around to read a single sentence inside the shrunken browser window embedded in the shrunken AOL window. This is all not helped by the fact that she's still using 800 x 600 screen resolution. I often try to convince her to use one of the many stand-alone browsers with little success. The Commodore 64's still in the closet. Why don't we try to browse Amazon.com with that while we're at it?
Another reason I'm begging people to ditch the AOL is because, without fail, many users will tell me that their computer takes a good hour to boot up, but don't want me to disable AOL from auto-starting (along with its "let-me-hold-your-hand-idiot" internet security programs it insists on bringing to the party). As if it takes so much effort to double click that ever-present triangle that the interminable wait for Windows to start paying attention to your input is justified. Again, they don't even have a dial-up connection. They're using broadband, yet are still paying AOL money because, I suppose, they feel bad for them (or got tired of being "mindscrewed" by over-eager retention agents not too long ago).
"As a Prodigy customer, I can't begin to understand your addiction..."
I find it shocking that I'm still pleading with people to ditch their AOL in a large, metropolitan setting where broadband is smacking us all in the face as we walk down the street. But I suppose I should start planning those interventions. Cue the zippy xylophone music. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding...*
*Not getting the "ding ding's"? It's a TV show on A&E. I felt I had to explain since I assume that many have never heard of it seeing how they still get unsuspecting people to go on it without them knowing what's going to be behind the door of their "final interview".
5 comments:
Does AOL still force users to hook up their computer to their telephone line and use dial-up service, even if they have broadband? I wouldn't be surprised!
Someone just alerted me to the fact that one of my sites was malfunctioning in an AOL browser. I was really taken aback. How many AOL users are still out there, anyway?
I worked for 6 months selling (or rather - TRYING to sell) AOL and let me tell you - it was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had! Trying to convince people that they NEED AOL, when I wouldn't use it myself if I had to!
One reason your mom might still be with AOL is because it's nearly impossible to disentangle yourself from their tentacles! Just try calling to cancel your "free trial". You'll leave the call begging someone to scrape their fingernails on a chalkboard.
I spoke to a friend the other day who told me she's used to AOL and doesn't want to change. I told her she is missing so much, she has no idea. Like my daughter who lost her glasses and now that she has new ones she's seeing things she had no clue had existed!
I imagine the only people actually using it today are two types: those whose introduction to the web was through AOL and it was a profound experience. They're the same people who refuse to get rid of their prom dress or high school jock strap!
The other type: those living in such a rural area that broadband is not yet available. I suppose, in that instance, I WOULD MOVE! lol.
What seems more incredible than the users sticking around who don't have to, is the fact that AOL is sticking around! It was a dying fad 5 years ago when I was trying to sell it. It's really hard to believe they still exist. I thought by now they'd have been filed on the shelf along with Windows 95.
Here's a good page to read more about how many use it and why: http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/12/so-thats-who-uses-aol/
I leave you shaking my head at the wonder of it all. Good post. : )
I hope you don't mind that I did a funny AOL post and included a link to this post. Let me know if you'd rather not have a link to your site. Check it out at: http://lakelandmom.blogspot.com/2009/03/aolics-anonymous.html
My mom just got a "fake security program" virus off Facebook, and I'm reformatting everything and reinstalling. I think I'm gonna try to talk her out of installing AOL.
And, yes, I get the "ding ding dings" as well. I am also starting to wonder how anyone can not be suspicious after all these years when a few people with quality video cameras want to do a documentary about addiction.
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