Who Gave Me The "Macarena"?

In late 1995, various incarnations of "Macarena" have infiltrated the eardrums of unsuspecting listeners with its catchy rhythm and infectious dance. Even though wildly popular, it peaked in late 1997.

In 2008, it somehow found its way back into my head.

Thanks for making my life a living hell, guys!

I'm on a mission to determine who or what put this song in my head. I haven't heard it in a decade and I avoid any sporting event that uses the Los del Río ditty as celebration music. So why am I breaking out in "HEYYYY Macarena!" on a semi-frequent basis? Did I breath in something while taking public transportation? Did I put my bare bum on an infected toilet-seat? Did I not wash my hands enough? I wish I knew. We just don't have enough education on this affliction, referred to in medical circles as "Macarenitis".

Macarenitis manifests itself, innocently enough, the same way any other catchy song would. The melody will play in a loop subconsciously until a "trigger" (e.g. someone putting their hands on their hips in rhythm) brings it to the forefront of the brain. You might be inclined to give it a listen or hum the chorus a few times. Whereas any other song would leave upon introduction of new stimuli (another song, television, a butterfly, etc.), the Macarena melody remains lodged in your cerebrum. Shortly thereafter the condition worsens. Any piece of conversation is unconsciously sung to the tune of the song. For example: "PLEEEASE pass the gravy" or "HEYYYY where's my car keys?" In later stages, you begin using the entire chorus' tune to communicate (ex. "I've got to go to the dentist in the morning, I can't be bothered to eat a bunch of candy. I need a cleaning it's been about six months now, HEYYYY clean my teeth sir"). It's around that time the victim begins suffering swift and severe beatings from those nearby.

There is no known cure for Macarenitis. Treatment is also limited as scientists, doctors and record producers remain baffled by its ability to hijack the conciousness. Prevention is also somewhat limited since the Macarena can show up in the most unexpected of places. As a matter of fact, just by reading this article, you probably caught it. Be afraid. Be very afraid. HEYYYYY Macarena!