Boris the Puppy

Boris

No family is complete without a wacky overabundance of animals. That's why I'd like to announce the newest member of our menagerie: Boris. He's 8 weeks old, enjoys chewing on everything, misses the wee-wee pad by a good meter, relaxes to the smooth vocal stylings of Enya and can fit comfortably inside most shoeboxes. We named him Boris because we're teaching him to hate moose and squirrels.

Boris is a mix of a Miniature Pincher and a Yorkie (more popularly known as a "Yorkie Pin", a "Minorkie", a "Porkie", a "Pinkie", or whatever portmanteau you can think of). He's sleeping on my lap as I write this and I just know he's planning to pee on me.

Here's a quick, 40-second clip of the new pup in action:

Yeah, we have a green carpet.

So far, the little guy has successfully thwarted all attempts of ours to get a good night's sleep. His internal clock is like that of a farmer (i.e. he's in charge of waking up the roosters). I asked the vet if Chloroform is dangerous for dogs and I was answered with a slap to the back of my head. My concerns are valid. Boris is such a deadbeat the way he sleeps all day when we're awake and then eats our food without contributing to the chores. I'd charge him rent, but then I'd have to give him an allowance. What would be the point? It's a damn good thing he's cute.

Brutis

Despite his young age, he's proving to be quite the little terror to our other dog, Brutis. He's older and visually impaired, so he can't quite run fifty laps around the coffee table with Boris. Is it mean to laugh when Brutis gets riled up by his new brother and ends up yelping at the lamp for a full minute? Yeah, but who can help it?

I've been put in charge of training the little pup. So far, I have shown him how to use the copying machine, gave him a lecture on the boundaries of "Casual Friday", and reminded him to dial "9" before making outgoing calls.